Self-esteem is a belief and inner feeling based on your value and capability.
If we want to define self-esteem in one sentence, we can say:
A person who has self-esteem believes that I am lovely and valuable and capable of reaching my goals.
Oppositely, someone with no self-esteem doesn’t feel safe and will never grow in an insecure world.
You may see a successful person in appearance, but inside, he/she feels awful and worthless.
The base of self-esteem is feeling safe and reliable about yourself and others. The more self-esteem you have, the more trust you put in yourself, others and the world around you.
Self-esteemed people see others’ value, respect and worth as much as he sees them in themselves.
The importance of having self-esteem as a public speaker is not to be afraid of talking about your ideas, thoughts and believes in front of the crowd. Because you believe in yourself and you value others’ opinions and ideas, you are not terrified of others’ judgments and criticism.
That’s precisely what causes a problem in most people. They suffer from the lack of self-esteem so they don’t have the personal safety and they are a pessimist about others’ judgments. They are afraid to talk about their thoughts and believes in front of people lest they criticize and judge them.
These people believe that the world is created only to find other’s defects and problems. If you look further, you see that they are looking for imperfections in others too. They lose all the chances and opportunities they may have.
It might be interesting for you to know that researches have shown this self-esteem forms itself in children between the age of 1.5 to 3 years old. Here, mothers have the most critical role in helping the child to raise and grow as a self-esteemed person. She/he needs to feel safe, valuable and worthy.
The signs of low self-esteem
1- Being afraid of others’ judgement
They are lonely people and prefers to be alone instead of being mocked, criticized or judged in front of others. They believe people zoom on them to find defects and problems in him/her.
These kinds of people are so quiet even in family gatherings and between friends. They prefer to take percussions and be silent.
((Of course, it’s necessary to say this fact: Being lonely is way different than being an introvert.))
2- Sensitive and touchy
It means they get annoyed and upset the moment someone says something to them even if it is not impolite, irritating or deliberately upsetting.
Then it eats them inside out and explodes in anger, aggressiveness, insults and mocking others.
3- Self-analyzing causes low self-esteem
These kinds of people are always into a fight with themselves, asking:
“Did I do it right?”
“Was it correct to say this?”
“Should I have to thank him?”
“It was so rude not to say hi to her.”,
“I wish I called him twice, this way it may seem I was rude.”
Self-analyzing causes the reduction of energy and a messed-up mind.
4- Calling yourself with the worst adjectives
To call yourself a worthless, lazy, incapable and clumsy person in your thoughts all the time is one of the signs of low self-esteem.
Here, this person thinks he is incomplete, not enough and this is about perfectionism which we have talked about before in other articles.
5- Judging and criticizing others more than necessary
A person may criticize others or the world in his thoughts, but if it goes beyond limitation, it causes problems in life. Then we can be sure that it is because of low self-esteem.
6- Begging for kindness, attention, confirmation
These people are afraid of others’ thoughts about themselves, so they can’t express their ideas and feelings. They mostly feel terrible about their mistakes in the past. Feeling guilty, ashamed and shy are the number one enemies to self-esteem. They think they don’t have the willpower to run their own lives and others need to help them.
These people feel being the victim and a loser, always looking for someone from the outside to look after them and help them reach their goals.
7- A person with low self-esteem is pretending and dramatic
When someone suffers from low self-esteem, he tries so hard to wear a mask and pretend to be someone else. They use an overrated personality to impress others and go far away from who they really are. But in the inside, they are nervous lest others might find out about his real self. Selfishness, being right all the time and not valuing others opinion is others attributes of these people.
Finally, I thank you for reading this article, and I assure you that everyone can improve self-esteem with enough effort, willpower and working hard.