I want to share one of the essential features of a charismatic person with you. Before that, I need to explain empathy. In other articles, I will tell about its function in charisma.
What is empathy?
When we talk about empathy, it means to walk in their shoes and see the world through their eyes. We have to forget what’s important for us and what is crucial for them.
Of course, there is a difference between sympathy and empathy.
What is the difference between empathy and sympathy?
So what is empathy and why is it very different than sympathy? Empathy feels a connection; sympathy drives disconnection. Watch what Theresa Wiseman found out about empathy.
what is empathy’s usage?
You may think that empathy is only pleasant for the ones we are talking to, but it’s wrong.
Not only it helps you to be more lovely and reliable, but also it creates a deep understanding. When we deeply understand each other, others will be more ready to hear and understand us.
Empathy allows us to bring our wishes and values to reality.
If we can use empathy, we can have more effective communication.
When I’m like you, you’ll love me more. If you love me more, you want to agree with me.
So what other option except trying to empathize with others and let them feel we are similar?
We don’t have to see empathy as a bonus. Let’s see it as a tool to communicate better.
Where can we empathize with others?
We can empathize with others in many situations, but we discuss some of them related to public speaking and communication skills:
1- Daily communications
There is no doubt that your spouse, colleague, friend, and child prefer to put yourself into their shoes instead of judging them. Let me bring an example of life without empathy:
A man comes from work, and he’s tired. His wife has been waiting for him for hours so that they go shopping. The man is exhausted and the wife has waited too long. She is bored.
If there is no empathy, the wife thinks her husband is selfish and only thinks of himself and won’t take her out.
On the other hand, the husband thinks his wife doesn’t understand the fact that he’s been working all day and how much tired he is.
Imagine they both had empathy! They would have the best life together.
2- Public speaking
Empathy is a powerful tool in public speaking. if speakers can empathize with the audience, they know how to attract their attention, and they will be skilled to know his audience.
3- Marketing and selling
I’m sure you’ve seen unprofessional sellers who can’t put themselves in the buyers’ shoes. They don’t notice their customers, and they only care about themselves.
How to be empathetic?
One of the most important ways to be empathetic is this:
Before judging others, let’s see what would we do if we were them?
One of my friends told me a story about his drug addict employee. My friend had asked him: “how much longer do you attend to be an addict?”
The employee said: if you omit salt from your meals for a week, I can leave my addiction too.
Of course, it doesn’t mean being a drug addict is a good thing but if we want to be empathetic about others and stop judging, we have to know we are not allowed to blame someone else while we are not perfect ourselves.
– A parent who didn’t study well and they expect their child to study for the rest of his life.
– Someone who doesn’t treat his wife correctly and expects his son-in-law to treat his daughter well.
– A father who didn’t succeed in his job and he hopes his son to be successful at his career.
And many other examples that I’m sure we all saw in our lives.
Generally, we have to look from another angle if we want to be empathetic. We have to look deeper. We can’t judge someone by one action and one lousy behavior and call him a rude, disrespectful person.
It’s best to ask ourselves:
“I don’t know what situation he had and how his bringing-up was. What would I become if I had the same situation?”
It’s not easy to empathize with others. It’s our talent to know how to stop judging and be empathetic.