Boost self-confidence with wrong methods
As we discussed about self-confidence and its definition (how to build self-confidence), we all know what self-confidence is and the way to build it. In this article, I want to speak about some wrong ways that people use to boost self-confidence and the right ways you can use instead.
1- Avoid criticizing others to boost self-confidence
One way to boost self-confidence is to criticize others. In one of my teaching school sections, I asked the audience to criticize great couches and teachers. After a while, I realized they are not doing it because they want to learn something from them, but they are doing it because talking about others’ weaknesses made them feel more important and self-confident. The moment I discovered it, I stopped them and asked them to only talk about the positive features of other people.
Instead of criticizing others, we have to try to learn something from them. It may make us feel self-confident, but it’s not worth it.
2- Character assassination and humiliation
We have to know some examples of this action to prevent it from happening.
• Humiliate others in public
If you humiliate someone in public, it might give you the satisfaction and you might become self-confident for a while (or at least feel you are) but the fact is that by doing so, you sold out your self-esteem easily.
• Imagine others are sheep
One other way to boost self-confidence by humiliation is to underestimate others! For example, some illiterate speakers say: imagine your audience is sheep during the public speaking! Of course, I have an answer to that:
Usually, people don’t talk to sheep.
• external factors to boost self-confidence
As we know, self-confidence means enough skills to do something and a positive perspective on it. Now the real question is that how can outer elements like
– Good clothing
– Having a pretty partner
– Driving an expensive car
– Having a reconstructive surgery
The fact is that these factors will help us feel better and boost self-confidence for a while but they won’t be useful after some time and even if they do we have to look for other valuable methods.
• Succeed at any cost
Success is like a snowball rolling from mountains and at the same time, it boosts self-confidence.
The more we succeed, the more positive perspective we have on our skills. It’s a way to boost self-confidence but if we try to succeed at any cost(even if it makes us more self-confident), we will confront the consequences in the future. Being successful by deleting others and humiliating them is not valuable.
• Knowing to much
Sometimes, we think if we know too much about everything, we are self-confident enough. So we try to learn everything in any condition. Knowing too much leads to overconfidence.
For example, you’re in a bookshop. Suddenly you see a book about success. You think this is a good book for me. but wait, no. There is another one, too. This one is also good for me. I have to read it. You haven’t read 50 pages of these books. But you see other books and start reading them. This example is also correct about the internet, websites and all other things that can teach us something. It’s wrong. This way we learn nothing. It’s better to choose one subject and start learning one at a time. It doesn’t matter how many books you have or how many of them you have read. What matter is that how many pages of them are influential for you and you used them in your real life.
Finally, I have to tell you that sometimes we can boost self-confidence but we can also lose our self-esteem at the same time. I want you to remember one thing:
Never sell out your self-esteem easily to build self-confidence!