What is the best way to build self-esteem?
Have you ever compared yourself with others? Have you felt terrible after you did? You can’t build self-esteem when you compare yourself with others.
Think of all the times we compared ourselves to others and felt terrible. When we do, we think they are better and more successful than us. No matter how you try, this feeling comes to you and consumes us.
You may see someone in a party that is way ahead of you in communication skills or have a better position at work with a way much more salary. You may have a neighbor who has a higher degree.
When you compare yourself to these people, you feel more depressed and regretful which results in the lack of self-esteem and your efficiency of doing great things.
Let’s use a better way to compare. Compare yourself with yourself only. Compare your today self with what you were yesterday, last week and last month to build self-esteem.
In this article, I want to tell you three essential points that prevent you from comparing yourself to others forever.
1- We compare our weaknesses to others strengths.
Of course, it will hurt us. It takes away our happiness and decreases our self-confidence. So we lose our motivation to go forward.
We can think another way. There are things we have which they don’t.
Try to focus on your strengths to be more inspired and motivated. I am sure it will help you build self-esteem too because you will know your value.
2- By comparing us to others, we highlight their strengths
When we zoom on people’s lives, we see they have their problems. They have weaknesses too. Even if some of them don’t have any problem now, they had some issue a long time ago which haven’t solved yet.
3- People are different from each other.
Every person has a unique personality, so the comparison is wrong in this case.
I am not them, and they are not me.
Everyone has a particular personality, behavior, skill, ability, and needs. Even the ones who have the same needs are different in some other parts.
Even we have different fingerprints.
We don’t need to act like others and have the same skills as they do. Otherwise, we would have been them, and they would have been us.
We are not a copy version of each other. We only look at each other and learn. This way we can be motivated to learn more and progress. Our paths are different.
We have to remember that:
Someone’s strengths only work for that person’s life. Maybe we have to focus on other skills and strengths to build self-esteem or get our dream job and life.
Let’s find ourselves a purpose and focus on reaching it with our ways and don’t compare ourselves to the others. See what your strengths and favorite activities are and work on them harder. Try to discover your weaknesses and improve them because they are the reason for failures.
If we want to build self-esteem, we have to stop comparing us to others and try to think positively.
How to think positively about ourselves?
The truth is when we approach our goals and dreams, some negative thoughts come to us automatically, and they interrupt our capabilities. For example, we say: it doesn’t happen, it’s not possible, it’s not working, the situation is terrible, etc.
It’s the fear, talking to you. You can solve this problem with this four-stepped plan:
1- Write your thoughts
These thoughts are damaging. Grab a notebook and write your thoughts every day. When you do this for a long time, you can have dominion on your thoughts and think more positively. It’s like you are throwing away your negative thoughts on a paper.
2- The results
Analyze what the results of these negative thoughts are? And what will happen in the future if you keep thinking like this?
When we have these negative thoughts, we won’t decide, we postpone, we feel it’s a weight on our shoulders, or we regret the past. Don’t forget that by eliminating all these, you can build self-esteem.
Decide to focus on positive thoughts instead of negative ones. Don’t underestimate this one. You think it’s easy to decide, but most people don’t even dare to make a serious decision.
4- Choose the positive thought
Choose a positive thought like a goal or a purpose that makes a better future for you.
Now it’s time to take actions.
Focus on your strengths.
Improve your weaknesses.
Compare yourself only to you.
And to be free of negative thoughts, write them down and choose a positive idea to think about it instead of that.
this way you can build self-esteem.