What is shyness?
One of the biggest challenge for the certain group of people, noticeably in some countries with the special culture and school systems is shyness. First of all, we have to clarify what is shyness and what is not and then we will suggest you a useful technique for overcoming shyness.
There are lots of definition for shyness, but I prefer to use my definition:
Shyness is a chosen behavior that allows you to do something you are not feeling good about because of lack of communication skill or wrong belief system.
Shy people struggle with these behaviors:
- They are unable to say no to others
- They believe others are more important than them.
- It’s not easy to start a conversation
- They are not aware of their right as a human.
- They are not able to stand strong for their rights.
- They prefer to choose not only based on their opinion but also based on what others prefer.
If I want to conclude a shy person in one sentence, I’ll tell you:
Shy people live for others not for themselves
What is not shyness?
Most people do not become aware of differences between shyness and introversion. And they used these two words instead. Most shy people are introvert but there are lots of extroverts struggled with shyness.
Thia blog post is not about introversion but we will discuss it in upcoming posts.
different between shyness and introversion
Being introvert or extrovert is a personality trait that is not changeable. (Like being left handed or right handed)
Based on the size of your amygdala you will be introvert or extrovert. So anyone has been born with this trait.
But shyness is a behavior that you can change it by learning new communication skills and improving your belief system. (I have a 3-day workshop on overcoming shyness and in the day 1 and 2 I try to renew their belief system. and on the last day, I teach them some communication skills)
I’ll write about introverts and extroverts, but know if you are an introvert, it is not mean you were born shy, it means you prefer to stay alone, but shyness means you are not able to communicate with other people. (first one was about what you preferred and the second one was about limitation)
If you are introvert or extrovert it’s OK but if you are shy, you need to learn how to overcome it.
Exposure technique for overcoming shyness:
If you want to learn how to overcome your shyness, You need to know the first step is going out of your comfort zone!
If you want to change your behavior you need to challenge yourself and try things that you never did before. We call this exposure.
If it is not easy for you to start a conversation with strangers, you need to do it
if it is hard for you to say no, you need to start saying it, but at the beginning, you can do it with no serious situation.
Call to action
Make a list of thing that you are feeling shy about them. and write them in the comments box. and then try to do every day one thing on your list.
2 Comments. Leave new
Hello! I agree with you!
“What are you afraid of? Do it”
Thank you for the good articles you are publishing 🙂
Thank you for your comment.